a hope to cling onto.

It happened, that night I rode back on the train alone with my thoughts. 

And as the train turned south and then east, the city came in to view.

Tiny lights making up a grander scenery of skyscrapers and towers, office buildings and apartment complexes. 

It was that night I realized how much I loved Chicago.

And it was that night I realized how much this city has changed me.

And these past three years started to make a little more sense,

As He revealed the next step to me, everything that came before it had so much more meaning

All the dark nights, the fighting of depression and self-loathing.

The days and weeks when I couldn’t remember who I was in Christ, when I couldn’t remember what it felt like to be unconditionally loved by my Savior, when I couldn’t even grasp that concept.

All the moments of struggle and doubt, the days I woke up and wanted to give up and walk away from Him. 

It all made sense.

The nights where friends helped to reveal His redemption in my life,

The times when the Word cut through my bone and marrow,

When words of theology struck my hardened heart and made it soft again.

That night when He grabbed my soul, and His jealous love overtook my life again;

The brutal moments of discipline and sanctification.

It all made sense the moment I remembered His promise to me - I will finish this good work in you that I started. 

And I have a thousand things to be thankful for, to praise Him for. All the good and all the bad, because He turns into His glory anyway.

Because He has started a good work, and He will be faithful to finish.

And I cling to this hope.